Day 15: A Not-so Fourth of July

Yesterday I woke up with a sore throat and this morning, my whole body ached. I wanted to sleep in and skip morning chanting, but somehow I got myself up. I probably should have just stayed in bed because I could barely hold my back up and I left early during meditation to take a nap before breakfast at 7 am. I possessed no will power to listen to my alarms and slept until 12:30 pm instead. My friend knocked on my door with a plate of fruit and chocolate dessert from Ven. Dhammananda. I went to thank Venerable and let her know what happened, but she was napping when I went to her office.
I did not think I could do any manual work today, so I went to the library and updated this blog. A pretty big heap considering I was 10 days behind. Another layperson brought me dinner as I videochatted with my mom outside. I did not expect this kind gesture and it made me happy to know that the people here cared about me and my health. I brought my dinner to the eating area and Dotcom kept me company by sitting near me. I saw four toads hopping over to the grass - a new record since I normally only spot one or two toads at a time. I also saw mommy gecko again...she is maybe 10 inches long (including her tail) and looks like a giant version of the other little geckos running around here.
I went to evening chanting, but I still felt too weak to hold myself up while sitting. I used my arms to help keep my back somewhat straight and I did not chant so that my throat could heal.

The worst part of today was in the morning when I realized that people here do not celebrate the 4th of July. I do not think that they should celebrate American freedom, but I simply forgot that Thais have no reason to consider this day a holiday. My mind has become conditioned to think of fireworks, barbeques, and patriotism on this day. I felt like Pavlov's dog not getting a treat for the first time. Living in Nakhon Pathom has taught me about what I take for granted in America. I never thought I would miss this holiday, but I miss the cheerfulness that comes with it. I enjoy spending time with friends and family, the food, the fireworks, and that easy-going feeling of summertime. July 4th represents a freedom, not just for our country, but from school and work. It serves as the Thanksgiving of summer, when we can spend time with the people we care about and remember what we are thankful for in our lives. Although I get a daily dose of Thanksgiving here, I wish I could spend this day with the people I care about most in my life. I guess another lesson from this trip is learning the difference between the physical and the mental. In Buddhism, mental suffering far surpasses physical suffering. This large emphasis on the mind applies not just to the 4th of July, but to each day I stay in Thailand. I may not be able to physically celebrate this holiday or spend time with my family and friends, but I think about them every day and I am there at the fireworks in spirit. And isn't that more important in the end?

Closest picture to an American flag that I have from this trip