Day 25: A farang trying to fit in

When I woke up today, it smelled strongly of the pig farms nearby. I had a flashback to the first morning here when I woke up and thought bluntly, "it smells like sh*t." Now I think, “the pig odor is strong today”, which shows how much my mental processing has changed while here. Everything seems easier to handle when I simply observe, rather than judge. I still lack mindfulness at times. In morning chanting, I got scolded for not closing the door as the last one in the room. I know the rule, but it just slipped my mind today. Venerable came to morning chanting, which does not usually happen. As she left, she came over and straightened my back. I had started to slouch from my back pain and I felt a bit embarrassed that she corrected my slouching.

At breakfast, the cook told me to start serving the rice, but then Venerable told me to wait because not everyone was seated. Between the Thai that I cannot understand and the mixed signals from different authority figures, even small activities can be a bit overwhelming. I tried a Thai pastry that looked like a croissant with some Thai filling. I enjoyed it and apparently one of the dogs did too because I saw her snacking on one underneath a table. I don't know what the filling was, but I no longer question the food. The answer tends to be rice, coconut, palm sugar, or beans, so I just assume one of those now.

Afterwards we had a short lesson in Thai. At 8:15 am, I got excited to finally videochat with my mom since I had both the time and internet. Unfortunately, the internet quickly shut down as the electricity went out in the office...and apparently the whole complex since my fan and light did not work in my room. I had 53 seconds left on my emergency call card and I used about 30 to let my mom know about the power failure. I sat outside in the shade and then took a nap before lunch.

When I passed the library, I saw some samaneris cleaning the high windows, so I went inside and helped them. I realized this was my 5^th round of cleaning the library. I am always impressed by the stamina of the Thai women as they do work in their robes. One of the samaneris sat on top of a bookshelf as I stood on my tiptoes to hand her the freshly cleaned glass panels to put back in the slots. I noticed they cleaned behind the couches, so that spider must be roaming around looking for a new place to make a home. My feet got so dirty from the dust in the library that I thought of the scene in "My Neighbor Totoro."

I couldn't help but document it

Dinner was unexpectedly awkward. I ate with the cooks and I felt disrespectful with my bowl of cereal. It helps to have some food that reminds me of home for dinner, but I could not say that to them with my usual hand gestures.

We did the marathon chanting tonight and some visitors came for a workshop that starts tomorrow. I think Venerable talked about me to them because she said my name and then used the word "farang" a couple times, which means Westerner. I was surprised because I thought it had a negative connotation, but I looked it up in my Thai phrase book afterwards and it simply means Westerner.